I am Everything I’m Not

the truth is I probably just hate that I know who they are. I see how they get. I hate how they let people see it. Because nobody knows how bad it gets for me and what I can look like when nobody is around. In some sick and twisted way I believe it's morally superior of me to portray myself as well even when I am not. It's why the only emotion I ever feel after letting other people see me break down is guilt.